Self-Advocacy Without Ego
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A few years ago, I found myself in a tough spot on a job. I had taken on a lot of responsibility early—too much, if I’m honest—but I was eager, and I didn’t want to say no. I was juggling submittals, meeting minutes, and coordination calls, managing certain trades in the field, you name it. It got to the point where I was working long hours on the weekends just to keep my head above water.
One afternoon, I walked into my Senior PM’s office to ask for help. But instead of calmly explaining the situation, I unloaded. I complained. I vented. I told him how unfair it all felt. And I’ll never forget his response.
He said something along the lines of, “I would’ve helped you weeks ago, but you never said anything. Instead, you waited until you were burned out and resentful. That’s not how we solve problems.”
That one stung—but he wasn’t wrong. I had confused silence with strength. I thought that asking for help would make me look weak. Turns out, the opposite is true.
So What Does Good Self-Advocacy Look Like?
It’s not about raising your voice. It’s not about proving a point. And it definitely isn’t about putting other people down to build yourself up.
Self-advocacy is simply owning your value and communicating your needs — clearly, respectfully, and without ego.
If you want to grow in this industry, you have to learn how to speak up without sounding like you're trying to win an argument.
Three Simple Reminders
Here are a few things I wish someone had told me earlier:
You are allowed to speak up.
If something feels off, if expectations aren’t clear, if you’re drowning in work — say something. People aren’t mind readers.Timing and tone matter.
Don’t wait until you’re emotional. If you’re fired up, take a walk. Write down what you want to say. Then have the conversation when you’re calm and clear.Don’t turn feedback into a fight.
If someone critiques your work, don’t immediately go into defense mode. Listen. Ask questions. And if there’s something they’re missing, explain it — without sarcasm, without edge.
Final Thought
Self-advocacy is a leadership skill. It shows maturity, self-awareness, and a commitment to doing things the right way. The people who rise in this industry aren’t the ones who talk the loudest — they’re the ones who communicate clearly, own their stuff, and build trust over time.
Don’t stay quiet just to be agreeable. Don’t wait until you’re at your breaking point. Advocate for yourself — and do it in a way that earns respect, not attention.
Keep pushing boundaries, keep learning, and keep building.
- Fulton
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